A friend told me once, when I I first met her actually, that I should listen to my feelings more than I did. That I should experience the height of happiness, and work through the wallows of sadness…because everything had a reason for being felt in its most intense and raw state. And she told me that it should not be masked or suppressed or glazed over. It has taken me just over one year since first hearing that advice to heed it.
The last few weeks have been difficult personally and professionally. My husband travels frequently and my job is demanding. I live and love both equally. (Ok, I love my husband more.) Though, in recent weeks I have felt vacant and hallow. I have felt without drive or passion. Mostly I’ve felt lost within myself.
Perhaps it’s something to be remedied by slowing down, sleeping in, or eating that extra buttery croissant. But perhaps it is none is those things. Maybe it is something much deeper than that; something I haven’t taken the time to acknowledge. Because I’ve never been one to really get in touch with my feelings or understand why I feel them. This advice came to mind when I began to question who I was doing what I was.
I can’t say I’ve found the answer, so I can’t give you advice on what to do if you happen to be in the same situation. But I can mention there is something to be said about who you are when you have a conversation with yourself after reaching the bottom of your second bottle of red wine.
Knowing me, I’ll regret it in the morning.